Last Friday, I celebrated my one year soberversary through the AA program. Some of you know that AA has been a huge part of my journey to sobriety.
It was a great meeting! The support in that room was phenomenal. Over 100 people attended the meeting, and the best part was....I knew most of them. Many of them have had an impact on my life through their stories.
I've always said that something very spiritual and amazing happens to me when I walk into the room. It's almost like a sense of pure calmness and peacefulness enters my mind, body and soul. The love and support I get from members, ever so reminding me of the reasons why I don't want to drink anymore, is truly amazing ...and a blessing.
I'm not gonna lie. "I've done a year sober and I'm in such a better place now" thought keeps creeping into my head. You know the one? "I can start drinking in moderation and control myself more".... that thought. I still want to drink. The little guy is on my shoulder and he's very fucking loud sometimes.
I received a beautiful message the other day from a blogger friend. She finally made it through the doors of AA. She wrote:
I loved it! I was the only new member getting up in front of 40 people to get my welcoming envelop... and I got a round of applause lucky me! Then 40 people came to congratulate and encourage me during the break... wow this is unreal! Why have I been waiting so long to attend? Because my time hadn't come yet. Finally it has and I'm thrilled to be part of this support group. I'll attend many more meetings, and people talk to me about some intensive weekends as well I wish to attend. But my sponsor like you mentioned that she never feels "cured" and that the desire to drink is never too far away. Stay on your guard she says! Hurrah for me I broke the ice! I see why you like your meetings so much! It's pure LOVE without the EGO
A member came in that has been on relapse for the last few months. He didn't know it was my celebration. I asked if he could read The Promises. He hesitated. ...out of shame and guilt maybe... but he did it. He's been lost, he said. He thought it was better out there...with the booze. I was an inspiration for him to come back and get back on track, he said.
It's a great feeling to inspire people in recovery or help them to find their way to freedom. A few people have been put in my path lately. I sometimes just hope I can stay strong enough to stay here.
|Gifts from friends|
|Gifts from friends|